"Hi, everybody!" -- Dr. Nick Riviera as the Model Consumerist-driven Physician

There is only one physician who is the epitome of proper doctoring as portrayed on The Simpsons. A graduate of "Hollywood Upstairs Medical College", Dr. Nick Riviera is a jack of all trades: cardiothoracic surgeon, anesthesiologist, medical-law expert, dietician, and prolific inventor. He is sensitive to his patients regarding the prices of medical procedures and he offers considerable discounts, with a flat rate of $129.95 per operation. Shying away from paternalism or licensure, Dr. Nick puts the patient at the forefront in a consumerism model: what the patient wants is what the good doctor will provide.

In an article in the Journal of the Canadian Medical Association, Robert Patterson MD and Charles Weijer MD, PhD make the case that Dr. Nick Riviera is a new model for physicians everywhere:

As a profession, we must shed the dark past embodied by Dr. Hibbert — a wasteful, paternalistic and politically incorrect physician. Instead, the physician of the future must cut corners to cut costs, accede to the patient’s every whim and always strive to avoid the coroner. All hail Dr. Nick Riviera, the very model of a 21st-century healer.

I agree. Always an advocate, Nick strains to get the most for his patients, whether that is affordable medical care or hefty lawsuit awards. For example, Dr. Nick gives Marge and Bart's lawyer a thorough interpretation of Bart's x-ray films after an event where Bart was allegedly hit by a car:

"Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at these x-rays. You see that dark spot there? Whiplash. And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint... no, that's trauma!"

Clearly, he is a consumerist driven advocate for Bart. Despite Dr. Nick's rigorous education and his devotion to inexpensive medical care and patient satisfaction, there are still allegations made against his good name, especially by malpractice panels. The leader of one such panel challenges Dr. Nick over his use of a fork and knife from a seafood restaurant for a major operation (he has also used the gloves which "came free with my toilet brush" for other surgeries), and placing cadavers in his car's seats. "But I cleaned them with my napkin" is his response to the surgical tools charge, and "I get here earlier if I use the carpool lane" with regards to the cadavers. Questioning Dr. Nick's ethics is unreasonable considering his vast experience: a degree from Mayo Clinic Correspondence School, Club Med School diploma, Hollywood Upstairs Medical School graduate, and certification as "Female Body Inspector". There is certainly no other physician out there as qualified as Dr. Nick to diagnose "bonus eruptus" with precision and to know the proper treatment: "transdental electromicide". Any perceived missteps can be excused after realizing the immense cost savings through his care and the normally high patient satisfaction from his services.

When Homer Simpson sought Dr. Nick's advice on ways to gain weight rapidly to qualify for disability benefits from his employer, Dr. Nick compassionately provided remarkable medical insight according to the consumerism model of medicine:

"Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology . . . You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group and the choc-o-tastic . . . Be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon . . . And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain."

That's the kind of personal care and attention that I would want from my physician! The model physician behavior exemplified by Dr. Nick would certainly be rewarded with high marks on patient satisfaction websites and surveys. "Dr. Nick healed my skin failure!" and "Dr. Nick gave me whatever medications I needed, no questions asked!" and "I thought I was qualified to determine proper medical care in the doctor-patient relationship, and Dr. Nick proved me right! All doctors should be like this one!"

This is definitely what all doctors should aspire to: to be affordable, compliant, and passionate advocates for patients' wishes regardless of adequate training or medical appropriateness...

...Because the patient is always right.


References:
Image of Dr. Nick Riviera from Wikipedia.
Patterson R, Weijer C. D'oh! An analysis of the medical care provided to the family of Homer J. Simpson. CMAJ. 1998 Dec 15;159(12):1480-1. PDF
"Bart Gets Hit by a Car". Swartzwelder, John; Kirkland, Mark. The Simpsons. Fox.
"King-Size Homer". Oakley, Bill; Weinstein, Josh. The Simpsons. Fox.